I always like to remind people that good, sweet, kind, beautiful, sexy, clean, wonderful people get STDs every single day. And the majority of people who have STDs have no idea they are infected. Statistics show that 56% of 16- to 45-year-olds always uses safer sex supplies with casual sex partners. That means that 44% don't. (Doh!)
The number one way humans are spreading STDs today is through oral sex. What can you do to slow this down? 1)Get tested. 2)Learn how to have safer sex. 3)Make safer sex a normal part of your sex play. It's that easy!
WHAT IS SAFER SEX?
Safer sex is simply sex with care. It means taking care of yourself and your lover(s). Having safer sex means reducing your risk of acquiring and/or spreading infections and diseases. It's important to know this stuff because when you are all sex up and acting on pure animal urges, it can be harder than it sounds! It good to read up and be prepared. That way when you are ready to get it on, you don't have to think much!
Having safer sex means using barriers (like condoms, gloves & dental dams) between you and your lover to avoid swapping fluids. These barriers will protect your mouth, hands, vagina, penis, rectum and sex toys from any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) or diseases (STDs). These STI/STDs can sound scary, but the truth of the matter is that people need sex. And you cannot know if a person has a STI/STD by looking at them. Like I said, lots of good, sweet, honest, decent people have contracted sexually transmitted infections and diseases. You need to be prepared. You need to learn to eroticize sexual barriers for yourself and your lover(s). And you need to deal with the reality of it all.
Some people fear that if a new lover discovers that they have a stash of sex supplies, it will reflect upon their character. Some people fear that it will make them look like a slut and others worry that their lover will think they are a player. The truth of the matter is that a person who has safer sex supplies on hand is an adult. They are ready to care for themselves and their lover and should be respected for it.
SAFER ORAL SEX
If you are giving oral sex to someone with a penis use a condom. You'll find many lubricated condoms taste awful. I recommend using a Lifestyles Kiss of Mint condom. (Available at Toys in Babeland.) It has a subtle mint flavor that leaves your breath as fresh as if you had just used toothpaste! If you don't like mint, I recommend using a non-lubricated condom like Ria.
If you are having mouth to vagina or mouth to anus (rimming) sex use a dental dam or non-microwavable Saran Wrap. Put a little lube on the side of the barrier that touches the vagina or anus. This will help hold it in place and help that person feel wetness with the heat of your mouth. It's much sexier that way! And be careful not to flip your barrier over. You mouth must always stay on one side of your barrier and should not touch the other side.
Another great way to explore oral sex is to create a barrier out of a power-free glove or condom.
When using a barrier during oral sex you are protecting the mouth and the genitals from possibly swapping any number of STI/STDs. Risks include herpes simplex virus (HSV), HIV, bacterial infections like gonorrhea, hepatitis b virus (HBV), cytomegalovirus (CMV), and chancroid.
DENTAL DAM
A square sheet of latex designed to use as a barrier between the mouth and genitals during oral sex. The best brand I have found is the Glyde Dam. They even come in a variety of mild flavors like vanilla and grape! You can buy Glyde Dam at Toys In Babeland.
SARAN WRAP
Yup. This is the same stuff you use in your kitchen to keep your food fresh. Now you can use it while getting fresh with your lover! It's great because you can use longer strips of it and not sorry about it slipping away like a dental dam does. Have your partner sit on the end of it and unroll a large piece of it so that it's easy to hold the other end in place. It's also see-through which can help make your safer sex look more like oral sex should look like! Plus it comes in all sorts of colors! Be sure to use the non-microwavable Saran Wrap, if it's made to use in the microwave that means it is porous and not a suitable safer sex barrier.
GOOD BOOK
The Complete Guide To Safer Sex
By The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality
HOTLINES
Planned Parenthood (800) 230-PLAN
Emergency Contraception (800) 584-9911
Emergency Contraception (888) NOT-2-LATE
National STD Hotline (800) 227-8922
Home Access home test (800) HIV-TEST
National AIDS Hotline (800) 342-AIDS
National AIDS Hotline Espaņol (800) 344-7432
National AIDS Hotline Deaf Access (TTY) (800) 243-7889
Body Positive Helpline (800) 566-6599 Offers counseling and referrals for people who are HIV positive, their partners, families and friends.
Where do you keep your safer sex supplies? Under your bed? In your purse or backpack? In the kitchen drawer?
Have sex supplies ready and available wherever you choose to do it!
What supplies do you have right now? [ ]condoms [ ]female condom [ ]lube [ ]dental dams [ ]Saran Wrap (non-microwavable) [ ]gloves
What do you need to buy? [ ]condoms [ ]female condom [ ]lube [ ]dental dams [ ]Saran Wrap (non-microwavable) [ ]gloves
Do you speak to your lover about safer sex or do you hop into bed and hope for the best? [ ]yes [ ]no Don't wait until you are naked to dicuss safer sex. It's always easier to do it with your clothes on!
Do you ask your lover if they have had any STDs, and when they were last tested, before you have sex with them? [ ]yes [ ]no
Do you ask your lovers if they practiced safer sex with all of their previous partners? [ ]yes [ ]no
Have you practiced safer sex with all of your previous partners? [ ]yes [ ]no
When was the last time you were tested for STDs, including HIV?
If you are in to rimming (putting your mouth on your lovers anus) have you ever considered getting vaccines for hepatitis B and hepatitis A? [ ]yes [ ]no